so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
