We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
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