Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
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