New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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