oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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