I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
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