HIV tests are more positive than that guy
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Randomize
