I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
