you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
