when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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