Betty ford says i'm here all night
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
