You smell like stripper and shame
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Randomize
