you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
There's a naked man in my car right now.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
