just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Randomize
