When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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