Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Randomize
