I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
