don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
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