did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
