I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.