Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
We have so much sex to catch up on
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS