We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
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You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
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After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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