Texts From Last Night

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  (906): View more from Michigan

  rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.

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  (906): rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice. http://tfl.nu/1neh
  Replies (9) Good night (946) Bad night (3810)
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  At least we don't have one night stands

  (1-765): View more from Indiana

  True that. We sink our claws in our men.

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  (765): At least we don't have one night stands (1-765): True that. We sink our claws in our men. http://tfl.nu/8zkt
  Replies (8) Good night (2380) Bad night (639)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.

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  (502): You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes. http://tfl.nu/c0ti
  Replies (5) Good night (606) Bad night (4645)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.

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  (832): just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno. http://tfl.nu/xrvd
  Replies (28) Good night (5690) Bad night (1053)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke

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  (802): i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke http://tfl.nu/r62l
  Replies (7) Good night (981) Bad night (4204)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives

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  (770): Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives http://tfl.nu/9ndz
  Replies (6) Good night (2222) Bad night (967)
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  (940): View more from Texas

  This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.

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  (940): This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying. http://tfl.nu/0zt5
  Replies (2) Good night (638) Bad night (949)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that

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  (954): The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that http://tfl.nu/l3dv
  Replies (9) Good night (851) Bad night (472)
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  (712): View more from Iowa

  He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"

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  (712): He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza" http://tfl.nu/tedt
  Replies (6) Good night (403) Bad night (1063)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.

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  (207): If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it. http://tfl.nu/bcke
  Replies (3) Good night (699) Bad night (413)
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  (607): View more from New York

  Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.

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  (607): Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun. http://tfl.nu/atlx
  Replies (6) Good night (523) Bad night (1796)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"

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  (845): I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen" http://tfl.nu/33mk
  Replies (6) Good night (1808) Bad night (363)
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  (315): View more from New York

  This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID

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  (315): This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID http://tfl.nu/jlhh
  Replies (4) Good night (993) Bad night (402)
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  (760): View more from California

  I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.

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  (760): I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck. http://tfl.nu/o963
  Replies (7) Good night (850) Bad night (270)
• Favorite

  (830): View more from Texas

  Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.

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  (830): Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it. http://tfl.nu/ngu5
  Replies (3) Good night (580) Bad night (325)

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