I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
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So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .