I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
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Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
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Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.