i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked