): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Randomize
