So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.