Texts From Last Night

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  (585): View more from New York

  Congratulations on your moose knuckle.

  (614): View more from Ohio

  Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.

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  (585): Congratulations on your moose knuckle. (614): Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated. http://tfl.nu/9z1g
  Replies (7) Good night (2947) Bad night (909)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...

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  (404): i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with... http://tfl.nu/j0qq
  Replies (27) Good night (3962) Bad night (928)
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  (943): View more from

  You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka

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  (943): You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka http://tfl.nu/wlgo
  Replies (10) Good night (5527) Bad night (949)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.

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  (812): My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too. http://tfl.nu/4mju
  Replies (99) Good night (3919) Bad night (9246)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.

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  (954): We're sending your burrito through the mail slot. http://tfl.nu/pddr
  Replies (4) Good night (3961) Bad night (877)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.

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  (847): Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch. http://tfl.nu/loso
  Replies (8) Good night (1069) Bad night (889)
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  (914): View more from New York

  true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"

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  (914): true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS" http://tfl.nu/3w8r
  Replies (14) Good night (1416) Bad night (511)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?

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  (412): Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass? http://tfl.nu/n93b
  Replies (8) Good night (1264) Bad night (494)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...

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  (314): Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea... http://tfl.nu/1d0t
  Replies (7) Good night (1616) Bad night (662)
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.

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  (905): yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child. http://tfl.nu/c0t1
  Replies (0) Good night (429) Bad night (411)
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  (716): View more from New York

  I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice

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  (716): I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice http://tfl.nu/9xrw
  Replies (1) Good night (595) Bad night (345)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick

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  (651): Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick http://tfl.nu/7fc7
  Replies (11) Good night (793) Bad night (826)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero

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  (914): I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero http://tfl.nu/isds
  Replies (0) Good night (816) Bad night (294)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.

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  (816): OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER. http://tfl.nu/yom4
  Replies (1) Good night (463) Bad night (219)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him

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  (704): Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him http://tfl.nu/cf1p
  Replies (1) Good night (365) Bad night (189)

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