i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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