I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
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i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I would ride that face into the sunset
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
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