what day is it and did you see me today?
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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