I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Still dying that you shit outside
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
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