Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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