I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
