i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Dick very happy bro
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
