I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
