Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
