I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize