best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
