After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Is this like a preordered booty call?
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize