either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
