I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
