Hey man sorry I got all grabby
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
