Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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