her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
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my being single is dangerous.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
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