Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
