Umm I'm too high to move.
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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