he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
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Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
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