I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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