Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
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He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
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You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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