You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
