Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize