how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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