theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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