did you get engaged???
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
