Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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