okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
