My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize