Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
