ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
