My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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