This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize