i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
